Silly nitey night shit...

Montreal  January 2012 

It's cold, I'm bold but got no hold on any gold. I was told the mold could be two fold.

Are you sold?

Some shit this middle-aged "Single" (bored) Gay Bear type guy would Bitch about:

               Went to get groceries again today and remembered what I forgot to put on my shopping list, Mandarin orange segments in a light syrup, sliced raw almonds and the fact that I hate the world so I should stay home so to speak... People in general "Urke" me(If that is at all a word - it sure speaks sentiments to me!). It must be my Gay genes cause my other ones are Blue Levi's. I dunno, I just seem to be very judgemental and find myself constantly making makeovers on people. I shouldn't be one to talk, I don't think I'm the catch my friends tell me I could be. And dress code well it goes with the limited budget I live with. Anywho, where was I...Oh ya being Judgementaly Bitchy on this cold Friday.

              What is it with this latest generation that all of a sudden fur is OK again? One in 3 people whose path inadvertently crossed mine almost tripping me(because they were texting) is wearing fur of some sort! Maybe they texted me and I didn't get it. But then again I don't get much these days. Read into that one what you want. I wanna go up to them and say Duh, besides flashing the fact that you paid a ridiculous price for a Canada Goose jacket with real FUR, you have blood on your hands! Does this make me look "PWETTY?" Look guys-gals it looked good on the wolf that was happy go lucky until he saw the butchers' knife! No you look like a big old looser in those. We are worrying about the environment for your generation and you encourage murder of these wolves and foxes because you are convinced you will be warmer in our Canadian winters. 1st what became of the animals body?(Waisted) 2nd Did you know that the fur collar like tinsel on a Christmas tree does nothing to keep you warm? It's the lining. No don't bitch that I am Vegetarian and am imposing my values on you because I said nothing about the Goose down inside. Still sad but the Goose was hopefully eaten and not wasted. See, I'm not going all PETA on you!

                 Now that I got you to hate me, let me tell you about "OLD PEOPLE". Yes, you might call me old and outdated but I've been around and had my hayday! What is it with Older people needing to stay in the middle of isles with their carts and even leave them while they go talk to the butcher. Oh ya, just move the cart aside right? Look out even with their bad eyesight they will throw you daggers!

                 How about escalator etiquette Hmmm? Stand on the right side if you will ride it up or down without walking and the left, like driving for passing. We are Canadian we are not in England where it is OK to drive on the wrong side of the road. Same goes for the stairs. And why is it that the older you get(Not me yet) you seem to complain that the buses are late or the cashier is too slow. You are retired and have nothing better to do most of the time unless this is a new hobby. Yet when they are at the exchange counter or at a bank teller they act as if they are at a therapy session and have to talk about everything that has nothing to do with anything. Then why do they always find a way to butt into the front of a lineup waiting for a bus? We have seats designated to the white haired crowd with their reduced rate passes at the front of the buses!

                 Speaking of Bus etiquette, ever notice that the younger crowd or the ones under 25 with reduced rate passes manage to take up all the seats? You you pay full rate but must stand because they are tired from sitting on a chair at a desk in school all day. Or the fact that there are fare hikes almost yearly for public transit yet they removed about 10-12 seats in the subway cars so more people could get in standing. Same with the buses, the more people they squeeze in the happier they are but don't try to get off at your stop...you will be given the look the Devil gave the firemen. WTF.

            Aviation hats, ever see those? Oh how I love to hate them figuring if I stare long enough they will catch fire and disintegrate before I go blind. Years ago I remember seeing a male model wearing one for a photo shoot with an open shirt or maybe no shirt but he had a 6 pak of Abs and had a pouty look looking at the camera. Next thing you know every girlfriend is buying it for her boyfriend for Christmas - and he is supposedly supposed to look so cute. Two words, Elmer Fudd! "Gonna get me  that Wabbit!" No, I won't mention the rabbit fur lining some have.

OK, some will say I'm loosing it while others will answer I never had it to loose it.
 I did say I should have stayed home.

Thanks for listening to me rant.

Alan

Luv U all anyways, I probably should get laid and then I will see the world in Kaleidoscope of colors.